A Brave New World

I often lay in bed pondering new ideas and they all seem ingenious in the wee hours of the night. Many of them involve pieces of writing or letters that I want to compose. Once I composed a letter to Bittercreek Ale House regarding bringing back the finger steaks.  I never sent it and am still regretting it.  For some time I've been thinking of creating a blog, but then in the daylight hours nagging thoughts of fear and inadequacy tend to take over.  What will people think?  Will people wonder why I think I should share my ideas in this manner? Is it too revealing to put your private thoughts out to the world?

In two short months I will turn 40.  In my 4th decade of life I plan to start being braver.  I think that part of being brave is just jumping in.  I spend so much time thinking about and talking about things that I probably could have done several times over in less time than I've spent pondering them.

I am not brave my nature.  In my teens and 20's I spent a lot of time worrying about what people thought of me and doing things to try to be "cool."  In my 30's I have felt more comfortable in my skin. I've been able to share more of myself without caring what people think (as much). My mom almost died and I truly felt like an adult for the first time.  It was a turning point that made me realize that this is the only life I have to live so I'd better live it well. I gave birth to two sweet, thoughtful, smart little girls who need a mama they see as confident and strong.  I want them to go forth into this world as brave little souls who attract friends who like them for who they are and not because they are trying to "be cool" or fit in.

Tonight I looked up the definition of "Brave." Dictionary.com defines brave as possessing or exhibiting courage or courageous endurance.  My definition includes having the courage of my convictions, having the courage to accept myself as I am and to tell my truth even if it's not popular, to teach my daughters to have courage and confidence in themselves and not judge themselves by what others think of them.

So here I go....jumping in...blogging...beginning "a brave new world" and my 40th year.
It was really nice of Sara Bareilles to record this lovely anthem for my journey. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUQsqBqxoR4