Outside the Comfort Zone

Does everyone go through stages of being super productive, on-task and kicking ass at life and then fall into the abyss of laziness and just getting by, or is it just me?  I got home from my big work event and got my little one off into the big world of kindergarten. Since then, I feel like I've been running on a hamster wheel for a month just spinning around getting by and not living purposefully.

The last few days I have been single parenting which forces a person to be more on-task in order to survive. I have worked on getting back on the bravery horse and focused on being more purposeful with my time and energy. I have made and completed several lists of things I needed/wanted to accomplish.  I also used the focus that I've had this week to get back to working on my fitness goals.  You've heard of a "summer of love" well, I've had a summer of gluttony.

This week I have tried two new fitness classes at the gym.  This is a HUGE deal for me.  All of you gym rats out there will be all "whoa, two classes and she thinks she is rocking life?"  The truth is all of those classes scare me to death.  I walk by them and think maybe I will do one someday. There is one at my gym called BodyPump where people use weights and mats and bands and medicine balls and so many things it's mind boggling.  I am intimidated to even try to assemble all the equipment let alone do the actual class.  I think the main fears for me are a) looking stupid in front of a bunch of people and b) being to out of shape to do the class.  However, one of the promises I made to myself as I entered my 5th decade was that I was not going to care as much about what other people think of me.  Becoming physically fit and taking care of my body is just about ME.  I decided that I honestly don't care if I look stupid and as for the being out of shape thing well...that is the whole reason for the class, right?  The idea that I could actually have perfect kickboxing form or the ability to perform difficult yoga poses at my first class is ludicrous. It should not have taken 40 years for this to become clear to me.

In addition to these fears, I have a great talent for finding excuses.  Even today as I was driving to my first BodyFlow class I was running a little late and briefly thought "well, I can just wait until Thursday when there is one at the other gym."  I forced myself to continue and made it on time. I hope that I can work on breaking the excuse habit.  I am where I am with my body because of saying "I'll start tomorrow" and then tomorrow becomes next week and next month and next year.  All of those pizzas and beer I consumed in my twenties I washed down with the words, "I'll eat better tomorrow."

I also tried a spin class this week.  To those of you who are regular spinners, I bow to you with respect.  I had already worked out for 45 minutes and on a whim joined the class.  The instructor was really nice and told me that if I made if 30 minutes as a first-timer that she would consider it a great start.  I watched that clock like a hawk until the stroke of 6:30 PM (the 1/2 hour mark), waved good-bye, and probably frightened a lot of people on my way out.  My face was so red I'm surprised they didn't offer to put me on heart attack watch.  Other than the incredibly uncomfortable bike seat and my complete overestimation of my fitness level, it was pretty fun.  I might do it again...when my nether-regions recover.

Much of being brave is doing things that are outside of your comfort zone.  Gym classes are outside of my comfort zone literally, and figuratively...but I'm working on it.